Fifty Shades of Unrequited Love
by imtrying
Summary: A story about unrequited love, broken hearts, healed friendships and beautiful CEOs
1. Chapter One

**I know I have another story that needs updating (which I will do soon), but sometimes you have an idea in your head that wants to be written so you go with it.**

**It's a little different, and really a little starter so I hope you enjoy it :) **As always, reviews are appreciated.** I will update the description once the story progresses so I don't give anything away :)**

**x ImTrying**

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><p><span>Chapter One<span>

Have you ever sat and reflected on that one moment in your life that you knew changed your life forever? Have you wondered what it would have been like if anything, _anything_ was different and life as you knew it was not the life you had now?

Yep I did that.

Quite a lot lately actually, and it was really starting to piss me off. I wasn't in a bad place, I had the job, I had the apartment. I had the looks (kinda), the attitude (not really) and the kick-ass friends that would beat the shit out of the guy who spikes my drink. I really had all of it, except for the beautiful man that was sat opposite the bar with a look of shock on his face at having seen me.

And that was why I was thinking. Thinking is dangerous, there should be a limit to how much people think. Because thinking makes you remember things, and pretty soon you remember feelings associated with those things, and those feelings punch you in the heart and make you want to sob uncontrollably into a pillow. Especially when the reason you are thinking is across the room, and he makes you think about him and that one moment, which then makes you think about how you want to change that moment so that this present moment was more pleasant.

See, thinking is bad, it confuses people.

And it makes you freeze like an idiot staring into the most intense grey eyes you have ever seen, remembering how they would lock your gaze all those years ago. You can't look away because your memory didn't do him justice. He's aged, but he's aged in the most delicious way, and it makes you ache for him all over again. It makes you want things you know you can't have because he never gave them to you, he never wanted to. It makes you angry because no matter how much you think, you still can't figure out what the fuck happened between you and him.

So when he finally breaks his eyes away, you're left a little confused until you see the reason for his looking away and again, the thinking starts, feelings come, and your heart takes another beating for having to witness him kiss the same woman he kissed those years ago.

And you're left with the only option you have. You run for the door, willing yourself not to turn around and escape, not caring about the fact that someone is calling your name. You don't want to talk to him, you don't want to talk to her either. You just want that pillow. Or maybe the kick-ass friends who would beat the shit out of him for breaking your heart.

Yeah that would work


	2. Chapter Two

**Thank you for the response, stay with me for a little while longer and then the chapters will really kick off :)**

**x ImTrying**

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><p>Chapter two<p>

Crap!

When you want to run out of a bar after seeing the person you last expect, apparently you forget things. You forget your jacket, and your purse, and your phone. And you forget that you came with a friend who is still inside probably wondering where you are. So you have to go back in because you can't get home without your purse. And you can't call anyone to bring it because you need a phone for that.

And so that's how it came to be that I had to walk back into the bar, trying my best to be inconspicuous and not draw the attention of the reason I walked out in the first place.

He wasn't a horrible person, and he didn't mean to break my heart. No really he didn't. In fact, he doesn't even know that he broke it. How might you ask is that possible? It's quite simple when you think about it. I for one can only blame myself. And nope, I'm not making excuses for him, nor am I making excuses for her. I am simply stating a fact that many women (and men) have to experience in their lives. It builds character I'm told, it changes the course of a person's life and can shape who they will ultimately become, who they will trust and what relationships they will have. Because the worst thing about unrequited love isn't the rejection you feel after you declare your feelings (didn't do that). It isn't the pain of never having declared your feelings at all (yeah that was me). No, the absolute worst thing, is that despite your own feelings, and despite knowing that he would never love you the same way you love him, that he doesn't want you at all. Not even as the best friend you thought he was.

"Ana!"

Kate! Kate is great, she is my best friend and has been for the past four years after that vacancy was left wide open. She didn't even have to try and fill it, I knew it was hers the moment we sat in our first lecture together. She was my opposite, and that was why we were so good together. Where she was loud, I was quiet. Where she was blonde, I was not. Where she was outgoing, I was reserved and quite shy. Don't get me wrong, I could be assertive when I wanted to be, and if my inner ramblings were anything to go by, I could talk for all of China. But that was usually with people I trusted, and with small groups. Bars and clubs were not my thing, they were hers but after weeks of promising her I would let loose and throw caution to the wind, here I was on a Friday night in a bar. With him. And her.

"Kate, hey" I respond, looking at her and then the blonde guy walking alongside her. How the fuck does she walk in those shoes in this place without amputating someone's toes? And why is she with…

Oh shit.

Yep my night just keeps getting better.

If the squeal is anything to go by, I'd say I'd be needing my earmuffs tonight. But then she doesn't know who he is, and though I don't have anything against the guy, I really don't want to deal with this right now.

"What's wrong?" she says, giving me the once over. Sometimes, it's not fun when your best friend can read you like a book. Books! That's what I should have been reading tonight!

"Nothing," I respond, not convincing her at all. "Hey Elliot,"

I can feel Kate's eyes on me as I walk past her to her new beau and give him a hug, surprising him in the process. I always liked the guy, he made me laugh and was great to talk to when you wanted to piss _him_ off. Usually because it didn't involve anything other than Elliot being Elliot.

"Hey Bruce" he says, reminding me of his nickname for me.

"You guys know each other?" Kate asks, clearly shocked.

"Yeah we uh, we used to…" I stop myself from saying we used to be good friends. I don't blame the guy for stopping talking to me, his loyalty is with his brother after all. But still, it hurts. "…we go way back."

"Uh huh, and erm Bruce?"

Elliot laughs and I laugh with him despite myself. This is such a weird night, it's sending me down memory lane and I don't want to make that trip. I'm all too aware of the fact that two people who I have not seen in five years are likely to make their way to me the longer I stand here. And then the trip down memory lane is going to get longer, and fuck if I let that happen.

"Just a nickname from when we were younger. Kate can I talk to you?"

She must have seen the completely obvious way my eyes suggested I wanted to talk to her alone because she agrees and we make our way to the toilets. The door hasn't even shut before she starts talking the fastest I've ever heard her speak.

"Oh my god you know Elliot? Wait he's not an old boyfriend that I should avoid right?" I nod no. "Thank god for that! Ana he's so HOT, and I mean seriously, he's the most gorgeous man I've ever seen. The way he dances…" cue the shiver "…his voice, his back…" and the moan "…hmm, and his …" drool on floor. This is where I usually interrupt.

"Kate"

"Sorry but seriously, how did I not know you knew someone like him. I mean hello! He's yummy, how could you keep him from me?"

"Kate I haven't spoken to the guy in years, can we please get out of here?"

"Why what's wrong?" she asks, genuinely concerned.

"Nothing, I just saw people I don't want to see anymore and I'd really like to leave before they see me again. It wasn't exactly a joyous occasion filled with singing pixies and warm embraces."

"Alright, alright. Jeez you're crabby what the hell happened to you?"

And that's when the waterworks start. One minute I am talking, the next minute the dam has burst and I am shedding enough tears to make a pool at my feet. This was not good.

One thing about best friends, is that they make great pillows. The shoulder evolved to act as a pillow for all people who wanted to cry their hearts out. True story.

Kate lets me cry until I let it mostly out. She pulls back and for the second time tonight, looks at me in shock.

"Are you sure nothing happened between you two?"

"Yes Kate, and he really is a great guy. But if you get married please understand that I won't ever make it to your wedding unless you make me and the receptionist the only witnesses and attendees."

"Noted" she laughs, "since you don't have a problem with my family or friends, I'm assuming you have a problem with his?"

I nod yes "But don't ask me why please, at least not here. I'll tell you when we get home but not here please."

"Oh I'm counting on it. I'll get the alcohol, you get the porn"

"Is it porn night already?"

We joke; there is never porn. Unless continuous moaning at the delights of smooth, velvety, beautifully sculpted boxes of ice-cream counts as porn. This makes a nice change though, this is the first time we've needed the alcohol for me.

"Of course bitch, how else are you going to let go?"

"Only with you Kate."

"Always," she blows me a kiss and I laugh in spite of myself. "Come on, let's get outta here."

"You don't want to get Elliot's number?"

"Already have it, do you nothing about how I work?"

"Apologies, how could I ever doubt you? I left my stuff at the bar, let me go get it."

The bar. It is where the couple in question were last seen standing. Chances of a second sighting are significantly high, with interaction likely. Too likely, I don't like those chances. But I have no choice, my second in command had been dishonourably discharged for kissing the fuck out of the enemy camp. Now what?

Have you ever noticed in the movies, or in the books when people do not want to be noticed, that they subconsciously duck, or tuck their head in a little bit and look a little shifty, trying their best not to alert people about their presence not realizing that by their being in the room, they are alerting someone about their presence? I mean looking down, ducking the head-really? But apparently it works with great success because the bar is empty and enemy camp has retreated to unknown lands.

"Anastasia"

Until you hear that voice.


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter three**

Oooh this is so not good. I don't want to talk to him, and he sure as hell doesn't want to talk to me - except he does. What am I supposed to do? They never tell you what to do in the movies when the shifty business doesn't work and the guy walks up to you with his rich, completely drool-worthy voice and dominating presence and intense eyes and gorgeous hair and perfect lips and…Yeah let's not go there. Too late, I love those lips, LOVED those lips…

Snap out of it woman! He's said one word to you and you're acting like a freak. And still haven't answered him apparently.

"Ana?"

It's like I'm locked in place. Maybe if I stay frozen long enough he'll get the message and leave. And I can't quite figure out if him saying Anastasia is worse or simply Ana. They both seem intimate, coming from him anything does. To turn or not to turn, that is the question. Especially when your heart is pounding at the proximity of the man you loved, your palms are sweating and you can actually smell the nerves coming off yourself. Time to turn.

"Hi" I whisper. I look into his eyes and can tell he looks shocked. He's staring at my face, as if he can't quite believe it's me. Hmm, maybe this is a dream. I can't remember him looking this beautiful. I was wrong, he hasn't aged, he's simply matured. His features are more defined, his youth slightly lost from his early 20s to the specimen of a man he is now. His presence still wreaks havoc on my being and if it wasn't for the fact that I'd known this man for some time, I'd be fainting at his feet right about now.

"It's you", he says, Yep it's me, the girl you kinda cut out of your life a few years ago, the girl who was so thankful to be part of your life that she no longer lets _anyone_ be a part of her life now because she fears they'll leave another void like you did.

"Yeah, it's me" I say, trying to calm myself. It seems to be working and in the seconds my brain catches up with what is happening, my anger and hurt resurfaces. "What are you doing here?"

He's looking at me funny. Why is he looking at me funny?

"I could ask you the same thing, I own this place."

_Fan-fucking-tastic_

I see him raise his eyebrows. Must have said that out loud. Where the hell is Kate? I really need her to be here now. This couldn't possible get any worse and unless someone comes this minute I'm either going to shout at him or break down completely.

"Christian hon what was taking so long?"

Okay, let me rephrase that. Unless someone _other than her_ comes, I'm going to shout at him or break down completely.

"Ana!"

"Hi Lizzy"

Lizzy is the girlfriend, and has been for six years now. Kudos to them, I guess they really were meant for each other. Where the fuck has Kate gone? I can't breathe.

"I can't believe it's really you!" she says, her voice full of surprise. She approaches me, leaning in for a hug and I can still see him looking at me as I awkwardly return the hug.

"Yeah it's really me, how you doing Lizzy?"

"Oh I'm doing great now, I'm so glad to see you! It's been years, come sit with us!" Seriously? Whose fault is that? I didn't do anything, if it were up to me I would still be talking to you but I guess I wasn't enough to fit in with your new lifestyle huh?

"Um actually I was just going to head out"

"You can't, please Ana? We have a table, you can bring your drink or I can get you another one. You look pale though which can only mean you haven't had anything to eat."

"I've eaten fine thanks" I whisper, suddenly upset. How dare she act like nothing has changed, like I am still the same person I was when they last saw me? How can she act concerned now when she hasn't made the effort in years? I mean I haven't seen them in five years, granted I got to speak to them three years ago but they both cut off contact with me. Why now would they feel it so important to speak to me? And why would they think I'd want to?

"Okay"

Kill me now, please.

I've just agreed to sit with them. Thankfully Kate returns to my side by the time we reach the table with Elliot in tow.

"Ana!"

"Kate" I say, relieved that she's here. She can tell I'm distressed, and though she has been thoroughly kissed by Elliot by the look of their swollen lips and is clearly eye-fucking him, she's sitting next to me. See, best friends, they're kinda awesome.

"So, anyone gonna do the introductions or shall we just sit here in silence? I mean I know who you are but manners ya know"

I snigger despite myself, Kate has no manners, and I silently thank her for breaking the awkward atmosphere.

Yeah, the awkwardness is the main feeling going on right now. He looks like he wants to bolt and Lizzy is looking at me with what looks like regret. Your fault sister.

"Sorry," I say to Kate. "This is Lizzy and her boyfriend - Elliot's brother. Everyone, this is Kate."

"Nice to meet you Kate" Lizzy says as the waiter brings some drinks. I don't know what he's ordered but it looks great. So great that I drink Elliot's too before he has a chance to touch it.

"You too" Kate replies and then I watch as her eyes widen when realisation kicks in. "This is your sister Elizabeth?"

"Yep" I pout. "My big sister and her boyfriend Christian. You know Christian Grey right?"

Sometimes when one makes introductions that one does not want to make, one uses sarcasm or insincerity to make one's point that one is not comfortable. Unfortunately, it does not escape anyone's notice when one speaks like this.

"Ana" Christian says.

"How do you guys know each other?" Kate asks, but I ignore her. She'll understand.

"Yes Christian?" I ask, and it aches to say his name. "Am I making anyone uncomfortable here or is it just me?"

"I think you've had too much to drink," he answers. I laugh at him. SUCH a funny guy he is. Really funny.

"Oh yeah, I have drank quite a bit. You see I've seen people from my past today and I'm not quite sure what to make of it so I'm doing the only thing I can think of which makes sense. I'm going to get drunk as a bird and then fly home. In fact, the more I drink the more it makes sense." Total sense.

I get the waiter's attention and ask him to bring more drinks. Having a slight nod from Christian, he knows not to listen to my request so I do the only thing I can think of, I take his drink instead and down it in one go.

"AGH, how do you drink that stuff?"

"Ana babe I think we should go." Kate says, and I know she's right because I'm so upset right now I can feel I'm about to make a scene and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I'm so fucking pissed, so hurt, so broken that I can't take it anymore.

"You know what Kate, that's a great idea because at least this time I'll be the one walking away. You know why I didn't introduce you to Elliot? Because I knew I'd have to see HIM!" I shout. "And you Lizzy, big sister, such a pleasure seeing you again after all this time. Want to know how we know each other Kate? Lizzy is my wonderful big sister and Christian was my best friend for 8 years. It was going pretty great until they decided to start fucking and essentially cut me out. I mean you'd think after supporting them and loving them both they'd love me enough to make the effort but I'm not important enough to send a simple text. You know, how you doin? It isn't that hard right?" I sob.

Kate is now standing next to me ready to march me out of there. I don't even know how she managed to get me to stand up from the table. I really should go, but I don't quite feel done yet.

"You're an _asshole!_ What the fuck did I ever do to you?" I point at Christian. "And you Liz…" I say as I point at her," why would you take him away from me? You had your friends, you had to take the one person that meant everything to me?"

Stupid bloody drink that makes me say stupid bloody things to stupid bloody people! And I'm bloody crying like a baby now, just peachy.

"Kate I think I'm ready to go now." I say, stealing one last look at the stunned table before me.

Yeah, everything is just peachy.


End file.
